the following is an excerpt from the times, times' interview with emcee hype (interviewed by dallas mundis).
“when the wine thieves were last seen on the scene, the rumor from seeney mctalkalot was that jersey bound trunk crew was putting together another album. True or false?"
this is not true. while party and gum and i remain close friends, we are not currently working on or planning to work on any new jersey bound material. we are actually tearing albums to pieces and smashing bmx trophies. besides, jersey bound trunk crew is not a band, it's a super group, secretly put together by diddy and doody, derick and wilbur wright (the right brothers), and mad-shit merry-makers, might mezz music.
"Secondly--and this reporter will get right to the point--is party.picasso dead?"
secondly, party.picasso is not dead. that was a rumor started by romo and slater. they wish he were dead, then they could stop pushing those off-time ass-crack-crooked beats on unsuspecting Internet customers and jack dead party's beats.
"dream on, dingleberryshortcakes! am I right, hype?!? also, if you bought beats from romo and/or slater, you're a stupid twat-wad-wanna-be, hot-rod-cock-gob-sloppy, r-kelly-rock-opera singer. Right hype??"
i mean, what do you even say to that?! (rhetorical.)
"ok.. sorry man, posers get me so amped!! (pause) so fast-forward to yesterday… party and you played a living room jam session or??? that's not very hip hop, I must say."
fast forward to yesterday... party and i put the neon light strip on, drug the amps from the basement to the living room, and jammed off of an electric guitar (party) and an '86 yamaha synth (yours). bad to the bone! altho we don't generally do covers, somewhere in the thirty-seventh stanza of a c# progression we slipped into the violent femmes, blister in the sun (yes, in c#).
"so what does a jam session have to do with the wine thieves?"
it's all about vibes, man. we have to be in sync, party and i. we have to be n'syncer than justin, jc, joey, lance and chris. you understand me?
"and finally, in conclusion of said statements, how come in 2008 bon jovi had the top grossing tour? i mean, really, people? bon jovi?!?"
on a short list that only gets sillier…
"am I right, hype?!? how the F are you people going to give all your stupid-earned money to these (and i use the term sooooo loosely) 'artists': bon jovi #1, bruce springsteen #2, madonna(?!) #3, then comes the police. no, seriously, what F-ing year am i in again?!?"
i love Roxanne.
"nothing against the police or anything, but this is last year we're talking about. 2008 not 1983. let me just finish the list: at #5 celine dion..."
[editor's note: this is where the blog ends. the interviewer, dallas mundis, blew his own brains out. if he had lived (which he didn't), after celine dion he would have listed: #6 kenny chesney, #7 neil diamond, #8 the spice girls[...]]
[the new editor's note: this is where dallas mundis's replacement interviewer blew his brains out.]
[music is dead.]
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